Stress Be Gone: the benefits of practicing yoga.

I love to practice yoga!! I'm not an expert, by any means, but I do appreciate the way I feel during and after a yoga class. I guess it has to do with the fact that my mind focuses on the poses, my breathing, and listening to what my body is telling me. As I focus on these things, the stresses of my day melt away.

Many people think of yoga as just a relaxation or meditation technique. My experience is that it can also be a means to gain strength and lose weight. By practicing regularly, my shoulders and arms are stronger and my back feels better. By honoring my body's restrictions while gently asking my body to do more, I have come to respect the good and focus less on what I cannot do. Funny thing, though - as I keep practicing, I find I can do more each week.

As my mind's connection to my body increases, I also find that I am more appreciative my body in general. Not in a conceited sort of way, just grateful for its functions. An example: In one of my yoga classes, we were at the end of our practice, stretching and rejuvenating our legs. Rachel, our teacher (who is WONDERFUL, by the way), asked us to hug our legs and tell them thank you. This struck me as funny, because I have always hated my legs; they are one area of my body that I cannot seem to slim down - ever! In that yoga class, though, I had an epiphany. Even though I may not appreciate the size and shape of my legs, I do appreciate the fact they bear me up during the day. They carry me up steep hills in my neighborhood, they help me rush across campus on my way to work, or up and down the stairs on my way to class. They really ARE amazing, and I have come to appreciate them for their function.

Anyone still reading this post will think I'm off my rocker... I might be, since it is the end of the semester. :) But, I have found that the more I focus on the positives, the happier I become. That's exactly what I am trying to do!

Goals and Happiness

Graduation day is a week and a half away, and I am so excited I can barely stand it! Work and my classes this semester have stretched me to my limit and beyond. I guess that's the only way we grow, is to push past our comfort level and keep on pushing!

Last weekend I felt like I jammed about a month and a half into one weekend. I do have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind, though, that I will have to sleep for that month-and-a-half to recover from it. =)

I'm almost ready to submit my Business Plan for my Entrepreneurship class, and I'm so excited to have finished it! Even more, I think it is a document that will actually be useful for Dana's business, if he wants to use it.

And now to my purpose on this post...

One of the reasons people remain unhappy is that they don't know what will make them fulfilled. We each need to create our own personal plan or blueprint for happiness. When we make goals, or lists of things we want to see happen in our lives, how and when we want to accomplish these things, we can get places we never could otherwise. This really is the key for achieving our dreams, and no dream is too big!

Robert Louis Stevenson said, "An aim in life is the only fortune worth the finding; and it is not to be found in foreign lands, but in the heart itself." Only we can decide what will make us happy. When we decide, setting and achieving those goals truly make for a happy life.

I heard somewhere that if we take the time to write a goal, we have an 85 percent chance of achieving that goal. That is HUGE!

Regarding my school plan, I had not completed an actual, written goal and a plan to achieve it until 2007. Until I actually completed a schedule, semester-by-semester, I didn't have the key to move beyond the moment. Fitzhugh Dodson said, "Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination." I think I was like that ship. I did have a goal, but no plan to reach it.

I am so pleased to have planned, worked, and achieved this goal!! For those of you who have helped me through the process - family, friends, teachers - I can't thank you enough!

Families - Enjoying Every Minute

We had visitors this weekend! Dana's mom, his sister, Diana, and Diana's granddaughter, Lexi took a girls' trip to Cedar City - it was great to see them! The kids and grandkids came over last night, too, to make sure all the cousins got to see and play with Lex, Aunt Di, and Grandma Meier. What a great time we had! Here's a couple of short videos to capture a moment at the party:

Lexi and Cambrie may not be exactly the same age, but they sure had a wonderful time playing together! They spent all day Saturday playing - Dana, Diana and Grandma Meier took them to the Dinosaur Museum in St. George and then they came back and played in "Papa's Park" here at our house. As you can see, they had plenty of bubble fun, lots of swinging, and they even got to feed some carrots and apples to our neighbor's horse!

An important lesson I learned this weekend:

Enjoy these moments, no matter when they come! I have been really struggling with incredible end-of-semester stress both in my job and my classes. I have HUGE projects due in both classes this week, and although I've been working to get my Business Plan finished for my Entrepreneurship class, it hasn't been moving as quickly as I had hoped. So, taking time away from that could have felt like a nuisance, an impossibility, or total bliss. I consciously chose the latter.

At our family party, we kept the food as simple as possible (relying on help from some great cooks in the family), and just enjoyed each other's company. I am a lucky woman to have such a great family!

Does Feminism Teach Us to Be Discontent?

I recently read an article in April's "More" magazine written by Naomi Wolf that is very thought-provoking! Evidently, according to recent studies, women are seen as being less happy now than they were 40 years ago. In the study, a parallel is drawn between the feminism movement and the fact that women have become dissatisfied with their lives.

Wolf states that women in Manhattan view happiness to be old-fashioned. "There are women who have everything that feminism, Western culture and consumer society define as highly valuable: income; choices; stylishness; fascinating, high-status work; rich and equitable, if demanding, family lives. Yet among themselves the question 'How are you?' is almost never followed by 'Great.'" Instead, their answer invariably lists what's wrong - too busy, workload too heavy, too tired, you name it. If a woman expresses contentment in these circles, her friends might be puzzled, pitying, or even think her foolish! It just isn't hip to be happy.

Have our feminist mothers taught us to be discontent? Wolf talks about two different waves of feminism - the first wave comprised the suffragettes: "hardworking, and frustrated, but their letters do not show them unusually dissatisfied in their personal lives." They thought more about justice than their individual rights.

The second wave of feminism comes from an individualistic approach, and this is where the discontent creeps in. After the second world war, after helping the country through a labor shortage, educated women were sent back home to their loads of laundry and housework - they found themselves silently asking, "Is this all?"

Fast forward a generation or two, and the 1980's and 90's saw highly individualistic thinking among women. Any hinderance to becoming totally equal to men was shunned, and out came "newly self-asserting, newly enfranchized women - who increasingly had their own money to spend..." With markets for anything a woman would want to buy, achieve, or do, why would we be dissatisfied?

Wolf's article goes on to draw its own conclusion, but it has gotten me thinking. Does highly individualistic thinking lead to discontent? If we are fighting so hard for something we view as essential to attain, does it make us unhappy in the process? If achieving happiness means never having any problems - a continual life of ease and pleasure - then happiness can never be achieved. Even if we do have a stretch of "ease," in our lives, do we really enjoy that moment as much if we don't have the hardship against which to contrast it?

As wise women, we maintain delicate balancing acts. Whether we are balancing the demands of a busy family, a high-pressure job, school, volunteer positions, you name it, our world today is over-full. Finding balance in the present is what it all boils down to; that is what I strive for and I challenge you to do, too.

Don't Postpone Happiness

It is funny, and pretty sad, how many of us postpone being happy until some event ... any event ... is finished in our lives. For instance, when my children were very young and busy, I would look forward to a time when I wouldn't have to run around, herding them this way and that. I reserved my happiness some time in the future - for that day when I wouldn't be so tied down at home and they could walk on their own. I thought that I would be happy when money wasn't so scarce, or when Dana was finished with school. I longed for the day when I could really enjoy an intelligent conversation with my kids - some day in the future when they were much older. When that day came, I would find myself wishing for the day when they would grow out of their "sassy" stage and give me the respect I deserved.

If we aren't careful, we postpone our happiness until our lives have passed us by! As the years have progressed, I have made a real effort to try to enjoy the present. After all, this moment will never come my way again!

As Dana and I were talking last night, I was telling him how I used to really love the spring when I lived in California. The spring wildflowers were absolutely beautiful in northern California where I grew up. I have to guard against discouragement during the springtime in Utah - one day it can be gloriously warm, with the bright green grass sprouting up, buds on the trees, and hope filling the air... then the next day we can get twelve inches of snow! Yes, I'm talking about last week. As a person who loves the warm weather, this can be downright depressing.

This week, I've been concentrating on being "present" today, in this moment. I find focusing on gratitude for what is now helps me do just this. So, for today's blog, I'm going to list five things for which I'm grateful, even though they may not be totally apparent on the outside.

1. I'm grateful for snow. You read that right.... It is God's way of preserving water for the summer, when we can water our gardens and flowers. I almost forgot to mention all snow preserving that lovely water for the lakes I love to ski on!

2. I'm thankful for abundant and healthy food. Even though I struggle daily with my urge to eat too much, I am so grateful I don't have to wonder where my next meal is coming from. I have access to fresh produce or even canned goods and other preserves that keep my body healthy.

3. I'm thankful for work. I have a secure job! Although I do have more work than I can keep up with these days, what could be better than getting paid for sharing my talents and knowledge? Included in this gratitude is the fact that I also get to take classes as a benefit of my employment. Learning new things brings me joy.

4. I'm grateful for the change of seasons. If I didn't experience winter, I would never appreciate the other seasons - summer would not feel quite as wonderful if the climate never changed.

5. I'm thankful for aches and pains. My body warns me when I've done too much, if I'm getting sick, if I'm taking too much stress internally, if I'm getting too close to a fire, or any number of things. Aches and pains are a warning to quit doing something that will hurt us. I'm thankful for God's warning system.

So, the next time we find ourselves wishing time away, thinking we will be happy after some event or stage is over... STOP! Stop and realize that the time to be happy is now. Right now, when you are mucking through the hard stuff. After all, that's what life is made up of.

The Value of Persistence

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

~ Thomas Edison

Studying the life of Thomas Edison can help one realize the values of learning and creativity must be accompanied by the value of persistence! Edison was brilliant and extremely creative, and although he is well-known for inventing the telephone (with his close friend, Alexander Graham Bell), he got next to nothing in return. In fact, by the time Edison was well into his twenties, he was penniless - deeply in debt, starving, and living on the streets of New York City.

It was in New York's financial district, though, that his story began to take a turn for the better. He finally landed a job as a fix-it man for a financial corporation there.

"Edison recalled that the incident was more euphoric than anything he ever experienced in his life because it made him feel as though he had been "suddenly delivered out of abject poverty and into prosperity." http://www.thomasedison.com/biography.html

Thomas Edison's accomplishments are legendary, but if he had not been persistent in pursuing his dreams, even after countless failures, his name would be meaningless to us.

My take from this brief study... keep on keeping on! The next few months until graduation will be extremely busy, challenging, and exhausting. But if I keep setting my goals, persisting (even if I encounter failures), and keep looking forward, I will get through it all.

I may not be a genius like Edison, but I can still learn great lessons from a great man.

Hope

Those of you who know me realize I struggle with winter in general. I really don't like being cold, and I'm never happier than when the sun is shining, and the sky is blue. As I was on my way out of the door going to work this morning, I glanced over to my flower bed, and what did I see peeking out from the soil?


It doesn't matter that my mind may have been weighted down with worries of the coming day - the meetings, projects, classes, and general stresses - this sight brightened my mood by leaps and bounds. Why? Because, to me, it represents brighter, sunnier, greener things to come; it represents HOPE of a better day.



This lesson can be applied in facing the real challenges in our lives, too... not just enduring trivial weather patterns, but enduring genuinely difficult trials. If we can hold onto hope - hope of a brighter, sunnier, time; hope of a strength gained through enduring the hardship; hope of weathering whatever storm besets us - then somehow our trials become easier to bear. Either that, or our hope strengthens us to be able to bear the trials more gracefully.

So, when you see the trees budding, bulbs peeking through the soil, snow melting, even weeds growing, any sign that our world is awakening with spring in the air, think of something more than the impending allergy season... think of HOPE!

Be a "But-Flipper"

I just heard the greatest audio excerpt from Kirk Weisler, a motivational speaker. He recommended the virtues of being a "but-flipper." What exactly, you are wondering, is a but flipper? The best way to describe it is with a demonstration.

If someone were to ask you if Bob was a good fit for an open job position, and you replied, "Bob's resume is a perfect match - his qualifications are just what we are looking for - but he is not really a team player. He's quite a maverick." What do you think about Bob?

If, on the other hand, you replied, "Bob is not really a team player - he's quite a maverick - but his resume is a perfect match. His qualifications are just what we are looking for." You get a completely different opinion of Bob, don't you?

Kirk Weisler's comment was that the "but" erases everything that goes before it. We need to make sure we flip our statements to end with the positive, so people will remember the positive. See if this simple practice doesn't put a positive slant on all your communication.

So, next time you use a "but," ask yourself where you want your but to end up. If you are tempted to end a sentence with a negative, be a but-flipper!

Not-so-positive Thoughts About Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is all hype, if you ask me. It's not a true holiday, anyway - just an excuse to spend money on candy, presents, and cards. When my kids were in school, I would dread the trip to the store to buy multiple boxes of cartoon-character valentines for each child's classmates, along with the obligatory pink- and red-packaged candies. (If you didn't include a little candy in each envelope, the other children wouldn't even open the valentine!)

As my kids became teenagers, they might mope about, sad they didn't have a sweetheart to go out with on Valentine's Day. Too many teenagers believe that they have to be in love to be whole. Young people who are not afraid to be and act their age are so refreshing! Here's a great example...




Unfortunately, many adults fall for the Valentine's Day hype, too. If married couples don't have an insanely romantic Valentine's Day planned and perfectly executed, Valentine's Day hype makes us believe we have somehow "failed." Media coverage is all about making the "perfect" Valentine's Day dinner, or the most romantic date... And, so, we buy expensive gifts, flowers, cards, and candy out of obligation, not out of thoughtfulness.

I think we should work to let our spouses know we love them every day -- spending extra money on Valentine's Day doesn't make us a more successful partner. Being kind, serving each other, and loving our spouse should be an everyday occurrence, not just once a year.

Blog dedicated to the bright side of life

When contemplating the focus of my blog, my mind was drawn to a lesson I have had to learn over and over again - life is just better when I dwell on the bright side. This doesn't mean that my life is always easy, and that I ALWAYS keep a positive attitude. In fact, an "easy" life does not guarantee a positive attitude. Many women I know who may seem to have an "easy" life struggle with negative thoughts and depression. While we don't always know the challenges a person might face in the privacy of their own home and mind, keeping a positive attitude will make any challenge easier to overcome. When all is said and done, our attitude is really the only thing we truly have control over.

Holding a full-time job and going to school while trying to work on my marriage, caring for family, serving in my church, and keeping a home together has taken its toll at any given time. I have worked with people who dwell on and shared negativity all day long. After years of hearing a co-worker state day-in, day-out, "I'm so sick and tired of..." you name it, I decided it was time for a change! I was willing to take a huge cut in pay to get out of that environment and into a more positive atmosphere. What a blessing that has been!

I am grateful every day to work with positive people now. In an imperfect world, there will always be tragic events. For instance, the horrific earthquake in Haiti. I heard the most uplifting story about a young American woman, Christa Brelsford, who was trapped in rubble. I wanted to post it here to inspire all of us to look for blessings, not obstacles in life. She is an amazing young lady!